PTSD RELATIONSHIPS

STATISTICS ABOUT PTSD RELATIONSHIPS

Average divorce rates in most Western countries hover around the 50% mark, however the divorce rate for PTSD relationships may climb alarmingly to around 70%.

Yes, you read that correctly. Only about 3 out of 10 marriages will survive long-term once PTSD enters the relationship.

Disheartening, to say the least.

But when you consider that many cases of PTSD go undiagnosed, and that rates of divorce do not include de facto or other relationship types, then accurate statistics of any kind are virtually impossible to calculate.

And divorce only tells part of the story. It’s really only the tip of the iceberg. Do we honestly assume the remaining 30% of these marriages happy and healthy amidst the challenges of PTSD?

The damage that PTSD can wreak on relationships can be extensive, especially when help and support is not available or accessed.

And many of us will struggle through, barely uttering a word.

DIFFERENT TYPES OF PTSD RELATIONSHIPS

What first comes to mind when you think of PTSD relationships?

It’s likely to be the type you’re already involved in. Or perhaps you’re automatically assuming, because of all this talk of divorce rates, that a discussion on PTSD relationships is only relevant if a couple is married?

Wrong. PTSD relationships take many different forms, and all have their own unique obstacles.

Read on to see where your relationships fits:

Marriage

Whether your partner was diagnosed with PTSD before you met or after, committing to a ‘forever after’ as a PTSD spouse can change the dynamics of your marriage. Many spouses will benefit from seeking their own support network and building their knowledge about post traumatic stress disorder.

Engaged

Similar to a married couple but with one key distinction. Those who encounter PTSD during their engagement may be more likely to question whether they’re ready to commit to a partner with PTSD. The partner may or may not be accepting of their PTSD diagnosis or receiving treatment, making the future uncertain.

Partner

More casual PTSD relationships, and those still in the early stages, will usually be somewhat buffered from the full effects of PTSD. The person with PTSD will often try to push aside their worst symptoms for the sake of the budding relationship. And the early ‘honeymoon effect’ also helps to overshadow most of the confronting signs of post traumatic stress.

Ex (with children)

Your intimate relationship may have ended, either before or after your partner’s PTSD diagnosis. But with children to consider you still need to maintain an ongoing effective relationship with your ex partner. Your children will also need guidance and support in navigating their own relationships with their PTSD parent.

Ex (without children)

Generally more straight forward than a PTSD relationship that breaks down when children are involved. There still may be mutual friends, colleagues and social groups to negotiate if you have separated from your partner with PTSD. There may also be shared property or investments to work through together.

Parent

Depending on the cause, those who have a parent with PTSD may likely not have any memory of their parent without a psychological injury. Their parent’s PTSD symptoms will be viewed as normal personality traits. Younger children are at risk of blaming themselves for their parent’s PTSD symptoms and episodes. Adolescents may struggle against their boundaries. And once grown, adults may seek their own support and gain more awareness of their parent’s PTSD.

Child

Your child with PTSD may still actually be in their childhood or they may already be a grown adult themselves. With children and adolescents, your role as their parent is to not only love and support them unconditionally, but to ensure they have regular access to the best professional support. For adult children, your role will still be one of love and support.

Sibling

Sibling relationships vary greatly, not only family to family but also due to differences in gender and age. A person with PTSD may lean heavily on a close sibling for support, or possibly not even disclose their diagnosis with an estranged sibling. With limited information, a sibling with PTSD may display symptoms that could be taken out of context and damage the relationship even further.

Extended family

Extended family encompasses all those who are often, but not always, slightly more removed from the day to day issues of PTSD relationships. Examples include grandparents, grandchildren, aunts, uncles and cousins. The amount of information offered by the individual about their PTSD will ultimately determine the effects on this PTSD relationship.

Friend

As with any PTSD relationship, a platonic friendship can encounter issues when a person is struggling with PTSD. The support and compassion offered may differ depending on the genders involved. And some PTSD problems, such as alcohol abuse, may be difficult to navigate in certain friendships, particularly those between men.

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Stay tuned for our next installment where we are covering key issues of PTSD and Relationships!!

MY LIFE, MY WAY

Let's start this week feeling FREE to live life the way we want, and to heck with what anyone else thinks. Life is far too precious and short to be expending energy on trying to fit in or worrying what others think or say about us. So.... ACTION - pick 1 THING in your life that you're currently concerned about what others think (e.g what you do, how you live, what you wear, what they think of you generally etc.). Then today, simply repeat the mantra below to yourself as often as possible... MY LIFE, MY WAY MY LIFE, MY WAY MY LIFE, MY WAY MY LIFE, MY WAY MY LIFE, MY WAY... Because at the end of the day, when all is said and done, the ONLY PERSON you will truly care about the opinion of is yourself. Death bed regrets do not include, "Oh I wish I had conformed more!"

Forget about fitting in. You are special. You have your own path. You are here to walk it. Go with what FEELS good and right to you. You're the only one walking in your shoes, and with practice you'll learn to love and trust yourself completely, to the point you won't care about trying to fit in or about what others think of you.

The preceding is an excerpt from an email from The Daily Positive, thedailypositive.com

The Foundations of Peer Support

Five Fundamental Beliefs About Life – Foundation for Peer Support:

● Everyone has the ability to learn and grow.

● People’s beliefs determine their behavior.

● People think their way through life.

● Whatever people focus on, they give power to.

● Life’s experiences are the best teacher.

Beliefs re-stated within the context of Mental Health and Recovery:

• Being diagnosed with a mental health injury does not take away the ability to learn and grow; people can recover and often gain new wisdom they take with them in their new experiences.

• When you start to understand what beliefs or actions (if any) brought you to a place in life where you developed an OSI, it gives you a chance to look at those beliefs with fresh eyes. Were there any beliefs you would choose not to bring forward with you in life? Is there any advice you would give someone at the start of their profession that you wish you had known? What do you believe is true about yourself?

• Being diagnosed with a psychological injury does not permanently take away your ability to be strategic and creative. Often people with an OSI develop new skills as part of their recovery.

• Life's experiences are still the best teacher. With your new insight and experience, where will this take you? What will you gain from this experience? In recovery, we start to see the gifts we have received from this injury and view it with a new perspective.

"Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

To access peer support please visit:

Our mission is to inspire hope and contribute to the continuous well-being and recovery process of Veterans and Front Line Protectors across Canada.

We seek to empower and encourage them to strive for recovery through peer and professional support while creating greater public awareness.​

We at OSI-CAN do not see PTSD or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder as a Disorder, we see it as an Injury you can recover from. If you are suffering from the symptoms of an Occupational or Operational Stress Injury, then a PTSD or PTSI diagnosis is not required to get our help

The target demographic of OSI-CAN is, but not limited to:

Former and serving members of the Canadian Armed Forces, Allied Armed Forces, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and Frontline Protectors --- which include Municipal Police Services, CN Police Services, Emergency Medical Services, Fire Protection Services, Wildland Firefighters, Hospital Trauma personnel, Nurses, healthcare Workers, Social Workers, Animal Control Officers, Medical Examiners/Coroners, Indigenous Emergency Management, Victim Services Personnel, Emergency Communications Specialist/COMMS Personnel, Correctional Officers, “Volunteer” First Responders, Conservation Officers, Aboriginal Emergency Services personnel, Tow Truck drivers who clean up accident scenes and their spouses/partners. This demographic was chosen due to the commonality of experiences they share through the service they provide to the country and community.

We have a special interest and support volunteer first responders as they are not eligible for programs such as Workers' Compensation.